The Panics!

I had almost forgotten the rush I get when I go to a concert. It all came back again last night. I feel that a piece of my soul has been rejuvenated.

Check out "The Panics" on MySpace music.

In the mean time...here is lines from a song of theirs that played right now that just hit me as relating to me...

Its from the song, "Creak"

I just wanted to be somewhere else for a while
I was looking for a little bit more
but now I've been away so long
I don't remember what I'm looking for


Melissa has come and gone. It was fun having her around for a few days because I've been wanting to be able to share all this with everyone back home.

Here are some pictures from the night. Yes, I met them. Its my thing. I can't get enough of musicians. If I could drop out of Uni and become a groupie I would!

Stress Sinks, Junk Food Helps

Updating time...

I've avoided writing for a while because I've been trying to get my mind around everything. I went through a mini phase of questioning everything. All because of a paper. I received my first paper back that I turned in for a grade, last Thursday. I got 62/100. Which translates into P for Passing.

The grading system goes something like this:
HD-High Distinction
D-Distinction
C-Credit
P-Pass
P/C-Pass Conceded
F-Fail

So many thoughts and feelings ran around my head. I thought, "oh crap this is what I get for having TOO MUCH fun." To things like anger because I had reviewed it with my tutor prior to turning it in and she told me it was good. Unfortunately she isn't the one who graded it. I also began to doubt my intelligence, sort of. It just made me wonder, how my intelligence measured up to the rest of the world. I've only been exposed to America's grading scale. I began to wonder is it that lenient that I look great there but really kind of suck?!

This grade led me to wonder just how much I have changing here. Doing things I never said I would or acting in ways I don't normally.

In addition, this weekend I've also began to feel just how long its been since I've seen my mom, sister, and brother. Before I knew it but it was this weekend I felt it. I've realized just how much I relied on them for simple weekend lunches that I am used to back home as ways to de-stress.

I've also been realizing that my TV watching back home may not be such a time waster after all but another important activity in my life to bring me some balance.

I'm better about the whole paper thing. And if I'm completely honest with myself I know it isn't the best paper I have ever written. Although I can't blame that on having "too much" fun because I had that paper done a week before it was due. I'm using that P grade to remind myself that I'm just not that girl that can be happy with passing because I know my abilities. It also helps that compared to a lot of people with the paper I did pretty good.

I just want to reinforce that I still believe studying abroad is the best decision I have ever made. These questioning phases that I go through here are exactly like I do back home. I think it is just a sign of how comfortable I have gotten here.

I'm learning things about myself, who I want to be, etc. I think right now its all to much to take but I know with time from now I'll be able to reflect and understand more it all.

I just tended to be a bit dramatic. ;) Which studying abroad, in Australia esp. has helped me realize I could learn a few things about just chilling. Not to take things too personally and go with the flow. I'm working on it.

I went to this Emotional Intelligence Workshop for Black Opal. I really enjoyed it. The speaker was engaging and I learned more about where I am in emotional intelligence and how I can be stronger in that area. Emotional intelligence is about how well you know yourself and how well you know others. One of the most powerful things I learned from it was that, emotions don't equal fact. And he kept saying this thing, that I keep saying now when I have a thought in my head that I don't want...and that is "Oh thank you mind for sharing that with me" Which goes back to when it comes to negative emotions it is important to acknowledge them but don't let them consume you. :) He also reminded me that I need to put things in perspective. At the end of day remember, what is really important. A year from now, heck even a few months from now, how much am I going to remember that P grade vs. my overall experience in Australia?

I'm super excited about this upcoming week. Melissa from Millennial project is coming. She's going to be filming some of my study abroad experience. In addition, with my Black Opal group, we are putting on Well Fair Day. It is the goal to raise money to assist Water Aid in their goals of bringing clean water and sanitation to countries in need. Before this session I never understood the lack of just clean water that so many people have to face on a daily basis. Next Tuesday at Uni we are going to be doing a couple of activities: African Water Hole and Winning Wishing Well in order to not only raise money but education Uni students of this fundamental right that all people are entitled too but don't have access to.

One last thing, last Tuesday in my Vietnam and Cold War Tutorial we discussed the United States. It was extremely interesting to hear how my peers felt about us. I was the only American so it was a bit confronting. It was frustrating to hear how much how others view us is based on our political leaders, i.e. Bush. Esp. how because our political leaders make decisions it is a general belief that the decisions they make are how we as a public feel. It just reinforced just how important it is to vote.

Taronga Zoo Photos

Sydney Harbour

ANZAC Day and Taronga Zoo

It is pitch black out and cold. Slowly groups of people make their way to the center of town. They gather around. For awhile, there is just the sounds of voices in conversation. Then all of a sudden the beat of drums begin. In formation men in uniform march through the crowd into the center. The ceremony begins. Prayers are read. It begins to rain. And as if part of the ceremony, in unison people pull their umbrellas. The ceremony goes on. We are reminded of the sacrifice of the men who have served Australia in war. Emphasis is placed on the Gallipoli the battle that is said to be the day Australia became recognized as its own country. The Australia anthem is played. It commences the Dawn Service of ANZAC Day.

ANZAC Day is like Veteran's Day back home. However, more emphasis is placed on it here. It is also a excuse people use to drink super early in the morning and all through the day. After the ceremony a breakfast was served, all they asked for was a gold coin donation. In return we received a full on breakfast (eggs, bacon, hash browns ect) and a fee drink (which could have been alcohol if you so chose).

Saturday I hopped on a train with my friend Suzie and her sister Megan. We went to Sydney to the Taronga Zoo. Can I say amazing? I feel so at home in Sydney. Taronga Zoo seriously puts Reid Park to shame. I rode a ferry for the first time and the Skyline is so much cooler than the one at the Blue Mountains. I got to see kangaroos which is pretty much all I really wanted to see since I was in Australia after all. I also saw koala bears, zebras, birds, lions, giraffes ect.

I also fell in love (in a motherly way) with this adorable cute little boy who only spoke Japanese so he had no idea what I was saying. It was so cute he kept inching his way close and closer to me. And then he played footsies with me. When he put his hand in mind I realized just how precious life is.

It was a good thing I met that boy because all that day I kept thinking how annoying little kids are. Trying to remember why it is I want to work with them when I grow up and have children of my own one day.

I'll post pictures up soon! Right now I'm trying to be productive in life since I pretty much enjoyed this weekend. haha.

Nan Tiem Temple

I went to a Buddhist temple today with my Black Opal group. Once you drove into the grounds you immediately felt like you have traveled to a different country. The trees and plants are all different from the ones I've seen in Wollongong. Which is saying a lot because even the plants and trees I've seen in Wollongong are different to me than the desert plants I'm used to back home. The grounds at Nan Tiem are very well taken care of.

Nan Tiem was built in 1993 and lucky for me was very wheelchair accessible.

Upon arrival we immediately are taken to eat some tasty vegetarian food. I normally do not like curry but I liked it there. At this point though any food that isn't Campus East is amazing to me. We also had tempura which reminded me of home and going with my friends to Japanese restaurants. :)

Afterwards we had a guide take us around the grounds and to the temples. It was interesting to hear about Buddhism and what everything means to them. Later on he also discussed the basics of Buddhism. Most of it I'll be completely honest I really didn't absorbed. But this is how I interpreted the main message: That it is important to experience the here and now. Not to dwell on the past or look to the future. Expectations usually let people down because we are never satisfied and always want more, even when we get what we want. So we shouldn't expect things but enjoy what we have, enjoy the present.

I've always wanted to learn more about other religions so I'm really glad I had the opportunity to learn about Buddhism.

We also did some Tai Chi and meditation. I had a really hard time clearing my mind. Although some how I fell a sleep for brief moments here and there. lol Not that it was boring. However, I had thought the meditation would be my favorite part and actually I enjoyed Tai Chi the best.

And now I'm in my room (as it continues to rain outsides....) eating BBQ rice crackers (not the kind in the states that are rice cakes) these are crackers and I'm addicted to them. hehe.


Here are some pictures:

Just Updating

I realized its been a bit since I last wrote. Not much really has been happening here though.

The weather has been rainy for almost a week now. No bueno. I've been kind of in a funk. I have started to realize just how long its been since I've seen family and friends back home. In addition, everyone here is super stressed and busy with their mid-sessions. I on the other had have none so I have been bored. I've been trying to slowly work toward getting my 5 bijillion papers done. The fear of them hang over me. As I'm terrified I won't get them done some how. It is 10x worse that I'm kind of a perfectionist in the sense I need to put a 110% in each paper and not just pop it out the night before. I need to feel I really truly did my best.

For the past couple of weeks, one night a week, a group of girls and I have been cooking each other dinner. This week it was pizza. I was pretty impressed at how well it turned out. The other week we had a meat pie. It was steak and mushroom. Yeah, pretty much amazing. :)

Last night was a Black Opal social. I have such a good time hanging out with Phase II people here. Seriously, I look forward to my Friday meetings because it is a guarantee I will laugh soo much. For the social last night we watched "The Dead Poets Society" I highly recommend it.

Tonight I just had a mini-marathon of Grey's. And although it was episodes I've already seen it was fun watching it as I miss it dearly. I forgot how much Grey's keeps me sane.

Getting Focused...

Or at least trying too. As May is quickly approaching which also means I have 5 bijillion papers to write by then. Yes, I'm freaking out just a bit about it.

I need to look at the plus...I have no exams until Finals.

I'm trying to get more focused...aka spend more time in my room and less time socializing. That isn't working out so well for me as I spend most of my time on Facebook. I think Facebook should invent something where you can lock yourself out of your profile for a couple of days.

I actually have found I am more productive (at least here in Australia) when I am around people and studying then I am on my own. Which makes sense since back at good old UA I get a lot of homework done when I'm working the front desk.

I'm realizing how fast time is going by. It is now a common occurrence for someone or myself to point out that I only have three more months left...Which in one perspective is a lot because it has only been 2 months so far...

I kind wish I had started saving more money up for Australia sooner because I kind of wish I had made it to New Zealand. From what I have heard it is beautiful there and I've realized of late how much I love the great outdoors.

So much so that I fell asleep today at my favorite spot. The weather was absolutely perfect and I couldn't resist.

The past few days it has been rainy. No beuno.

Last weekend I was spontaneous and I went to Cold Rocks (ice cream shop) with some girls and then we took a walk along the beach. I was able to find the Southern Cross which was awesome!

I went out to dinner for the first time here too. We went to this Vietnamese Restaurant. It was exciting for me at least because I'm used to going out at least once a week back in Tucson.

Oh and I got these amazing boots. They were on sale too! I'll be taking many pictures of me in them...soon. Promise.

Other than the usual: eating, spending money, studying...ect. There isn't much to report.