No More Uni

So today was my last day of Uni. Actually it really hasn't set in to me that Uni is over...I guess the fact that I still have a paper and two final exams makes feeling done not possible.

The stress of it all is setting in. I've discovered the downside of your grade being based on just a few assignments. A) when the end of session comes close, you still don't know what your grade will be because you still have 50% yet counted. B) It all comes at once. Although it does that back home too...

I don't know.

I'm feeling pretty apprehensive about this Planet Earth final exam I have. I haven't felt this unprepared since my Psych 101 class back in freshmen year. At least starting this weekend I'll really be able to focus on it. It really does help when you enjoy the subject. Here in Australia they don't have to take so many random courses like we do back at UA.

All my mind can focus on is that once June 13th at 12:15pm I will be done with Uni here in Australia and I'll be able to enjoy it all.

But it freaks me out because it also means I need to start packing and finding a way back home...but most of all it means I have to say goodbye.

Its hard to explain how I feel. Its hard to explain once you form a life somewhere, to think you have to say goodbye to it.

eh, I'm just rambling now...

I realized in the last couple of days as I've been more studious, out of need,lol I miss alone time! I don't get much of it here but out of choice. However, as social as I am I do need me time.

Its true you do learn more about yourself when you study abroad. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all that I've discovered about myself.

One Month

That is all I have left?! One month...before I am...home, where my thoughts escaping, home, where my music’s playing, home, where my love lies waiting silently for me.

Half of me cannot wait to be home. I need to feel the comfort of my bed. I need to see my family and friends again. I need to remember what Tucson looks like. I need to taste the spicy flavors of Mexican food.

But then the other half feels that means there is only a month left. Only a month left to stay up late talking to Stefan. Only one month left of enjoying Ivan's gossip updates. Only one month left of Kate coming to use my bathroom for the mirror as she gets ready to go out at night. One month left of Campus East food. One month left of grocery shopping with Suzie on the weekends. One month left of hanging out with the girls. One month left of watching movies I always meant to see. One month left of Glassy's. One month left of my favorite spot at Uni. One month left of coffee's from the library coffee shop with the cute guys. One month left of continuing making memories that I could never had imagine.

I want to make the most of it and I don't want it to slip me by.

My heart feels torn and I can only image how it will feel the night before I leave...

For although I have every intention of coming back, it just won't be the same.

In other recent and great news...
I went out Wednesday and it was amazing. :)
I got a Distinction on my Hitler and Stalin paper, my 300 level course. Heck Yes.

In Routine

I'm hoping as I type this blog a title for it will eventually come. I usually think of titles before typing. I seriously sometimes sit in class, if the class is dull and think of a title for a blog or my Facebook status. haha. It is so funny how technology has become so important in our lives. Funny or scary. Depending on how you look at it. Ah! Look at me going on a rant. Further evidence that I've been procrastinating full on this past week.

This past Tuesday was our WellFair Day event. When I say our, I'm referring to my Black Opal group here. It was a great event. We raised $620! I'm very proud to be able to say I was part of that. That goal is the most any Black Opal Phase II group has ever raised. The event ran very smooth and I think we got our message across to a few people at least. If I get some pictures of it I'll be sure to post.

I'm two more papers and three exams away from being done. All I can think about is the freedom I will be enjoying for 10 days when I'm done. I'm super excited that my last exam is Friday, June 13th!!! I'm thinking of hoping on a train to Sydney. Hopefully meeting Lindsey there. Then coming down that night and the next night...guess what?! Its my birthday. It is kind of disappointing though that very few people will be done with exams at that point. Seriously its a lose lose situation my birthday. Back home everyone is always away on my birthday and here we have stupid exams. Oh well.

I went shopping yesterday. I intended to buy two dresses. I ended up with just a black clutch purse. Its funny how whenever I go with the intentions to spend lots of money I don't but when I don't want to spend lots of money I do.

Oh I forgot to mention. So you know that paper that I got a 62 on?! I took it to my Tutor again. She still stands by her belief that she thought I would have at least received a Credit. She gave me 5 extra points which bumped me up to a Credit. She couldn't give me more but that is okay Credit = happy. :) Now I just have to worry about last paper...for that class. Which again not being graded by our tutors and this time they can't give us extra points. :/

Sorry this blog is kind of...blah. Things are good. I'm procrastinating with school work because I lack motivation. Compared to everyone else I really have nothing to do. Things are blah I think because I'm in routine.

I'm somewhat worried now because next week is the last week of classes and I really don't know what my grades are in most of my courses as they all lay in the balance of the papers I just turned in and the exams I will be taking.

I'm noticing that I'm getting lots of views on this blog! YAY! Do you have any questions? Things about studying abroad that I'm not answering in my bogs? Feel free to post a comment to ask or you can email me too at aparkman@email.arizona.edu
I don't bite.

Oh and I know I mentioned in one my first blogs that I suck at grammar but I also such at typos. :/ I was reading some past blogs and seeing all these typo errors I made. Sorry!

The Panics!

I had almost forgotten the rush I get when I go to a concert. It all came back again last night. I feel that a piece of my soul has been rejuvenated.

Check out "The Panics" on MySpace music.

In the mean time...here is lines from a song of theirs that played right now that just hit me as relating to me...

Its from the song, "Creak"

I just wanted to be somewhere else for a while
I was looking for a little bit more
but now I've been away so long
I don't remember what I'm looking for


Melissa has come and gone. It was fun having her around for a few days because I've been wanting to be able to share all this with everyone back home.

Here are some pictures from the night. Yes, I met them. Its my thing. I can't get enough of musicians. If I could drop out of Uni and become a groupie I would!

Stress Sinks, Junk Food Helps

Updating time...

I've avoided writing for a while because I've been trying to get my mind around everything. I went through a mini phase of questioning everything. All because of a paper. I received my first paper back that I turned in for a grade, last Thursday. I got 62/100. Which translates into P for Passing.

The grading system goes something like this:
HD-High Distinction
D-Distinction
C-Credit
P-Pass
P/C-Pass Conceded
F-Fail

So many thoughts and feelings ran around my head. I thought, "oh crap this is what I get for having TOO MUCH fun." To things like anger because I had reviewed it with my tutor prior to turning it in and she told me it was good. Unfortunately she isn't the one who graded it. I also began to doubt my intelligence, sort of. It just made me wonder, how my intelligence measured up to the rest of the world. I've only been exposed to America's grading scale. I began to wonder is it that lenient that I look great there but really kind of suck?!

This grade led me to wonder just how much I have changing here. Doing things I never said I would or acting in ways I don't normally.

In addition, this weekend I've also began to feel just how long its been since I've seen my mom, sister, and brother. Before I knew it but it was this weekend I felt it. I've realized just how much I relied on them for simple weekend lunches that I am used to back home as ways to de-stress.

I've also been realizing that my TV watching back home may not be such a time waster after all but another important activity in my life to bring me some balance.

I'm better about the whole paper thing. And if I'm completely honest with myself I know it isn't the best paper I have ever written. Although I can't blame that on having "too much" fun because I had that paper done a week before it was due. I'm using that P grade to remind myself that I'm just not that girl that can be happy with passing because I know my abilities. It also helps that compared to a lot of people with the paper I did pretty good.

I just want to reinforce that I still believe studying abroad is the best decision I have ever made. These questioning phases that I go through here are exactly like I do back home. I think it is just a sign of how comfortable I have gotten here.

I'm learning things about myself, who I want to be, etc. I think right now its all to much to take but I know with time from now I'll be able to reflect and understand more it all.

I just tended to be a bit dramatic. ;) Which studying abroad, in Australia esp. has helped me realize I could learn a few things about just chilling. Not to take things too personally and go with the flow. I'm working on it.

I went to this Emotional Intelligence Workshop for Black Opal. I really enjoyed it. The speaker was engaging and I learned more about where I am in emotional intelligence and how I can be stronger in that area. Emotional intelligence is about how well you know yourself and how well you know others. One of the most powerful things I learned from it was that, emotions don't equal fact. And he kept saying this thing, that I keep saying now when I have a thought in my head that I don't want...and that is "Oh thank you mind for sharing that with me" Which goes back to when it comes to negative emotions it is important to acknowledge them but don't let them consume you. :) He also reminded me that I need to put things in perspective. At the end of day remember, what is really important. A year from now, heck even a few months from now, how much am I going to remember that P grade vs. my overall experience in Australia?

I'm super excited about this upcoming week. Melissa from Millennial project is coming. She's going to be filming some of my study abroad experience. In addition, with my Black Opal group, we are putting on Well Fair Day. It is the goal to raise money to assist Water Aid in their goals of bringing clean water and sanitation to countries in need. Before this session I never understood the lack of just clean water that so many people have to face on a daily basis. Next Tuesday at Uni we are going to be doing a couple of activities: African Water Hole and Winning Wishing Well in order to not only raise money but education Uni students of this fundamental right that all people are entitled too but don't have access to.

One last thing, last Tuesday in my Vietnam and Cold War Tutorial we discussed the United States. It was extremely interesting to hear how my peers felt about us. I was the only American so it was a bit confronting. It was frustrating to hear how much how others view us is based on our political leaders, i.e. Bush. Esp. how because our political leaders make decisions it is a general belief that the decisions they make are how we as a public feel. It just reinforced just how important it is to vote.