Stress Sinks, Junk Food Helps

Updating time...

I've avoided writing for a while because I've been trying to get my mind around everything. I went through a mini phase of questioning everything. All because of a paper. I received my first paper back that I turned in for a grade, last Thursday. I got 62/100. Which translates into P for Passing.

The grading system goes something like this:
HD-High Distinction
D-Distinction
C-Credit
P-Pass
P/C-Pass Conceded
F-Fail

So many thoughts and feelings ran around my head. I thought, "oh crap this is what I get for having TOO MUCH fun." To things like anger because I had reviewed it with my tutor prior to turning it in and she told me it was good. Unfortunately she isn't the one who graded it. I also began to doubt my intelligence, sort of. It just made me wonder, how my intelligence measured up to the rest of the world. I've only been exposed to America's grading scale. I began to wonder is it that lenient that I look great there but really kind of suck?!

This grade led me to wonder just how much I have changing here. Doing things I never said I would or acting in ways I don't normally.

In addition, this weekend I've also began to feel just how long its been since I've seen my mom, sister, and brother. Before I knew it but it was this weekend I felt it. I've realized just how much I relied on them for simple weekend lunches that I am used to back home as ways to de-stress.

I've also been realizing that my TV watching back home may not be such a time waster after all but another important activity in my life to bring me some balance.

I'm better about the whole paper thing. And if I'm completely honest with myself I know it isn't the best paper I have ever written. Although I can't blame that on having "too much" fun because I had that paper done a week before it was due. I'm using that P grade to remind myself that I'm just not that girl that can be happy with passing because I know my abilities. It also helps that compared to a lot of people with the paper I did pretty good.

I just want to reinforce that I still believe studying abroad is the best decision I have ever made. These questioning phases that I go through here are exactly like I do back home. I think it is just a sign of how comfortable I have gotten here.

I'm learning things about myself, who I want to be, etc. I think right now its all to much to take but I know with time from now I'll be able to reflect and understand more it all.

I just tended to be a bit dramatic. ;) Which studying abroad, in Australia esp. has helped me realize I could learn a few things about just chilling. Not to take things too personally and go with the flow. I'm working on it.

I went to this Emotional Intelligence Workshop for Black Opal. I really enjoyed it. The speaker was engaging and I learned more about where I am in emotional intelligence and how I can be stronger in that area. Emotional intelligence is about how well you know yourself and how well you know others. One of the most powerful things I learned from it was that, emotions don't equal fact. And he kept saying this thing, that I keep saying now when I have a thought in my head that I don't want...and that is "Oh thank you mind for sharing that with me" Which goes back to when it comes to negative emotions it is important to acknowledge them but don't let them consume you. :) He also reminded me that I need to put things in perspective. At the end of day remember, what is really important. A year from now, heck even a few months from now, how much am I going to remember that P grade vs. my overall experience in Australia?

I'm super excited about this upcoming week. Melissa from Millennial project is coming. She's going to be filming some of my study abroad experience. In addition, with my Black Opal group, we are putting on Well Fair Day. It is the goal to raise money to assist Water Aid in their goals of bringing clean water and sanitation to countries in need. Before this session I never understood the lack of just clean water that so many people have to face on a daily basis. Next Tuesday at Uni we are going to be doing a couple of activities: African Water Hole and Winning Wishing Well in order to not only raise money but education Uni students of this fundamental right that all people are entitled too but don't have access to.

One last thing, last Tuesday in my Vietnam and Cold War Tutorial we discussed the United States. It was extremely interesting to hear how my peers felt about us. I was the only American so it was a bit confronting. It was frustrating to hear how much how others view us is based on our political leaders, i.e. Bush. Esp. how because our political leaders make decisions it is a general belief that the decisions they make are how we as a public feel. It just reinforced just how important it is to vote.